I don't know how to parent
I’ve been trying to write a ‘we walk boldly in faith’ blog to wrap up our family mission statement series for about 2 weeks now. Alas, it will go unsaid and unpublished once more because THIS needs to get out of my head.
First, I want to get real with y'all: I am not looking for a pat on the back or warm fuzzies. Please do not feel inclined to tell me how amazing I am at “momming” - I already know. I am a badass mama jamma, even when I suck. I was put here to procreate and so I did, again and again and again and…..for real.
I don’t know how to parent. Neither does Nick, for that matter. Five times over, in fact. At least we are in this chaos together. Here is a little story to ponder:
There once was a little boy named Dashel. He was a darling child with an infectious laugh and an adventurous spirit. After a bath one night he was playing nicely upstairs with his brother and sisters. Mom was cleaning the dishes and dad was putting together a new cage for the guinea pig (whole other story) when the eldest daughter and ‘keep tracker of happenings’ (Evie) comes down and whispers something in dad’s ear. Shortly, both dad and Evie are running upstairs. “Get off the phone and come!” cries dad. Up the stairs they flew, to find splashes of color: pink, red and blue. And then what to their wondering eyes does appear, but a little boy Dashel and 10 tiny red nails.
I can’t make this up. This shit is real life and I have no idea how to parent it.
What do I even do?
This creature of mine, that I created, carried, birthed and nurtured was left alone for 5 minutes and engineered a way to get up into a high drawer to find some nail polish, paint his nails and the carpet. Bravo you little poopycaca head. I celebrate your light in this life, lest I go crazy….
All I have ever really wanted is a tribe. Amidst all of the things that I am, I’ve done and I’m doing, being a mom is my best. God put me here to create these little humans and blessed me with the opportunity to raise them well. We aren’t supposed to know how to do it, we just do it. As we are. From the heart and with love.
Being a mom isn’t hard. Loving your people isn’t hard. It’s all the other stuff that complicates this pure and simple thing. Don’t let it.
P.S. The nail salon is open. Pedicures by Dash $.25